I am looking for something. I am on an adventure. I am, at times like these, aware enough to know when the Lord is saying something to me. And He's speaking now. What am I looking for?
For a long time I've been interested in the factors contributing to the Holocaust. Not just to observe horror stories, or to have my emotions moved, although that isn't necessarily a negative thing.... I'm looking for information, a quest from somewhere inside my spirit. How did people respond to the nightmare they found themselves in? Was there faith? What was the "jewish mindset". Was there a mindset? How did this period of time effect the jewish culture after? How did they view God during? Who were Christians and how did they respond? Did they stand out, or blend out of fear? What stood out as a light? How did the church respond? What did Americans think or know about what was happening to the jews? What did the Americans/liberators think and how did they respond when they realized the true nature of labor/death camps? Who else shared the jews' fate and why? What made the Nazi's do what they did? How did ordinary Germans respond, and how much did they know? How did they get swept up into the madness of what happened? Who did what? What were the motivations? Why do I want to know these things?
There is a theme in my quest. A continuously moving thread. I am not content to stay in one place...a quest to understanding. There are many angles to understanding. Why do I want to know? Could it be God? What does he want me to see? Why?
I don't doubt that one day Christians and Jews alike will share the same type of persecution that occurred during WWII and is occurring in other places of the world. The more I read about it, but more amazing it is to know that this kind of evil blatantly took place, in the open yet also in secret from much of the world. It was systematic sadism, well organized, successful (approx 6 million lives ended) borne of a germanic people of culture, intelligence, beauty. Born of a nation who produced some of the greatest theologians, musicians, authors, inventors. It happened under the national nose of the world. And it will happen again. It's naive to think that the devil's ultimate large scale plan has gone away and will never again rear it's head towards those that belong to the King. God himself warns us of a time coming when the devil will concentrate his efforts of persecution on the chosen on a worldwide level.
Next time it will include those who love Jesus. It will include America. Maybe not us, maybe our children, or our childrens' children. How then can we not ask ourselves, "Am I ready for that?" Is my family ready for that? It leads me to look at my faith in God and ask perhaps the most obvious and personal question, "Do I know and love God enough to trust him were I to see perhaps my own family members taken away and murdered? Would my faith stand secure were I to see the murder and torture of small children? Imprisonment, murder, rape, torture, emotional and physical cruelty, the worst of human nature propelled by the worst of the devil's plans directed at all that I know and love. It's worthwhile to me to ask these questions honestly now.
One doesn't have to look far to see evil, but we have not seen large scale persecution here in America. We are used to comfort, ease and blessing. So were the Jews to an extent. Even with their history of persecutions and dispersions, they were taken off guard....for most, they didn't know the full extent of their fate until they saw the gas come from the spickets and felt the breath being taken from their bodies. Many did know their fate. Many escaped. Many lived for years under shame and degradation of simply being born Jewish. I don't think it's unrealistic to say that all jews living today have been touched in one way or another by that time period.
So I think... what do I need to do to be ready for that level of evil? There were many Christians who died and sacrificed during that dark time. Many heros of faith...but few and far between compared to the losses. Do I have what it takes to stand on what I believe? Have I been pouring what I know about God into my childrens' lives so that they will not find themselves hating God when the dark times come? Not enough, I think.
So I'm looking and learning. God is teaching. Physical preparation, while wise is not the only answer. There must be spiritual wholeness. Spiritual strength. The three most basic of needs. Faith, hope, love. Faith births hope and love...so it occurs to me that what I'm looking for, what I'm being compelled to seek out on this particular path, is faith.
Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.
So what I am looking for is the word about Christ in the lives of those who experienced the extent the devil will go to strike out at God and his people. When I read of those who didn't know him... I see misery, hopelessness, and despair and base human reaction. Animal reaction. But when I read the accounts of those of faith I see a different thing. I see hope, light, beauty in the darkness.
My search is guided. I move from seeing the reality of evil... to seeing the people...to seeing the puppets... to seeing the church and her response... the world and it's response. And I'm on a journey.
I have to have it settled in my heart who is on the throne and that He is indeed good. I can say it, I believe it, but I haven't necessarily stood on it in the face of terror so I don't really know for sure what I would do, how I would respond. I can be a mass of doubting human flesh.
This is a journey each person has to make. Maybe not in this way...and although it's important to understand and care about Jewish personhood, given that we're grafted into their story, the bottom line of our lives on earth is trusting God in all situations, and believing that He and we are what He says. Without that we are open targets for despair. Victims of fear and trouble, persecution or not. How can we provoke our Jewish brothers and sisters to jealousy unless we are convinced of it? Live it? Breath it? Are you convinced? How do you know? Sometimes lack isn't apparent until face to face with suffering or loss. But it doesn't have to be that way.
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